Life has no smooth road for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfills itself.

W. C. Doane

Monday, March 19, 2012

Goodbye My Friend

I hate you. I hate you because I loved you, because I trusted you, because you were supposed to be my friend. In the end you allowed your pride to get in the way. I know I made mistakes, but nothing is unforgivable. At least not the things I would ever be capable of. I'm sorry you couldn't work through your own self pity to realize I was there for you. I was always there for you. I was a real friend. But, like everyone has before you, you chose to walk away and blame it on me.

Well you know what? It's not about me anymore. It's not about me not being worth it. It's about you. You're no longer worth my time, my thoughts, my energy. This is my goodbye. This is my good riddance.

It's not me It's you.

Never enough pt.2

Spot stained hands
From sins of the past
Feet torn appart
From pacing holes
In this home's wooden floors

Worn down
Torn out
From the back and forth motions that refused to take rest

Holes burned in my heart
Pathways carved in my brain
From the repetitive thought pattern
Of the why's and why not's

Fingers can't catch up
To the the mental gymnastics

Of the..
Why do you hate me?
Why cant we go back?
And the...
Why can't I fix it?
What did I do?

The cerebral ruminations...
Such a bad friend
Such a bad person
Such a terrible human being

Is it you or me?
Where are the answers?

Tears won't desist
As they fill a bitter taste in my mouth
Not for an hour so I can rest
Not a minute so I can think
Not for a second so I can breathe

am I
NEVER enough..

Never Enough

The wall around this heart of mine grows
As the organ used for loving breaks.
Yet another soul walks away
They all will eventually
No one stays
No one stay
No one...

Been crying
Been sobbing
Heart wrenching
Stomach hurting,
Unbearably sobbing

So easy it was, for you to walk
For you to leave
For you turn your back
On what once was

Leaving the country
The continent
This friendship behind
Why won't you even try?

Why wasn't I worth it?
Why am I never worth it?
Will anyone ever fight for me?
To keep me
To love me

Four attempts at contact
Four attempts at mending
What ripped and tore and broke
In the end you broke me.
I'm done.