It's that time of the year again for us Muslims, i actually love this month. I've been going through some hard times this past year and even more so lately, so Ramadan i feel helps bring some peace to my heart. I've learned so much recently about Islam and Ramadan that i thought i'd share a bit. So just a bief side note, I fast from sunrise to sunset every day for a month. I have to say, it's been a huge help to my soul. That emptiness i feel at times seems to fill with...something i dont have words for. I guess it's just a matter of filling that void.
I spoke recently about feeling like broken glass, I'm still broken but those pieces i'm welding seem to be a little stronger. Today i found out that friends...or ex friends have been saying these things about me that are truthful yes..to a degree. But have been twisted version of the truth. They whisper things in my sister's ear so she can come back and pound me in the head with the things they told her. I just wish she understood that just as i have a void to fill so do they and the way they fill it is by making someone hurt like they do. But rather than hurting me they hurt my sister.
I feel like what's gotten me through this is prayer. My faith in God or whatever you believe to be a similar entity lifts my spirits. I was listening to this song the other day.
You can always tell when Allah remembers you
Just remember Allah, that’s all you have to do.
All you have to do to have Allah remember you
Is just remember Allah, Julla Jullalahu. (May His greatness be exalted.)
So my goal is to continue to remember God as often as i can in a day. A good friend of mine taught me the other day that if you dont pray the 5 times a day that you should you can also try saying little things about him 33 times. YOu can say things like
Alhamdulillah "Praise to God" or "All praise is due to Allah," similar to the Hebrew phrase Halelu Yah (thank you Wikipedia!)
Bismillah which is a shortened version of Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim, " in the name of God, the merciful and compassionate" Some tranlsations say :The most merciful the most gracious"
Mashallah 'Whatever God wills" Which often you say when your wishing someone well.
I think it'll be the quickest and most effective way to make it through these hard times. I think there's something about the knowledge of a higher power that allows me to feel better. I guess i just feel like no matter what happens and no matter how many times people try to knock me down, i'll have faith to bring me back up again. I guess it's just difficult when negativity surrounds me and it almost overwhelms me. It's one thing to try and knock me down but to do so in this underhanded way by bullying my sister so she can do the same for me in return? I just dont get why this is satisfying for them.
I know i'm a good person, i know i'll go far in life. But why is it their goal for me to be left alone...that's one thing i dont think i'll ever understand.