Real Men Do Rape

  We believe this notion that:

But after reading this expert from Something Kate Harding (co-author of Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body) posted.... I think on her blog....maybe she's right in saying "real men do rape." Thoughts?"

"So here's a message to some of the men out there who as they're reading this may be thinking, but i'm not that guy, I've never raped a womon, i've never made fun of one, i've never called one names. But have you ever sat back silently while someone else did? This message is for you:

“Cause’ the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I’d-hit-that and you just can’t reason with them and you can’t live with ‘em can’t shoot ‘em and she’s obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can’t stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can’t play by the rules they don’t belong here and if they can’t take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they’re only good for fucking and cleaning and they’re not fit to be leaders and they’re too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they’d just stop overreacting and telling themselves they’re victims they’d realize they actually have… all the power in this society and white men aren’t even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…

I get that you don’t really mean that shit. I get that you’re just talking out your ass.

But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women–to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn’t know which one he was.

And that guy? Thought you were on his side.”



-Kate Harding

What do you think?

I saw this video today, a friend of mine found it funny. I don't know... am i being overly critical in feeling like this is Slut Shaming? Just as a quick definition Slut Shaming is the act of ridiculing a woman for having several sexual partners, having one night stands,  and generally acting on sexual urges. "It’s about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior” (Alon Levy, Slut Shaming)

Check out this video.....do you think this falls into that category?

December 6th 2011 Let us Always Cherish our Lives...

This day is an important one to me and I wanted to take some time to share it with you all.


On December 6th 1989. 22 years ago, Mark Lepine walked through the halls of École Polytechnique, a Univesity in Montreal Quebec, and opened gunshot on the students. Enraged that he had been rejected from the Engineering program, he stalked the hallways ready to fire when necessary. He walked into a classroom and demanded that the men and women be separated by sex into two lines and asked the men to leave the room.


"I am fighting Feminism"

He shot 6 of them from right to left and continued through the hallway where he proceeded to walk through the rest of the school, targeting womyn in his rampage. He entered another classroom and shot and killed another 8 womyn. In total he killed 14 womyn, injured another 10, and injured 4 men, before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide.

Every year on this day we commemorate the deaths of these young womyn and remember others who've died at the hands of violence. I think what i carry the most in remembrance of December 6th is the structural violence people of all genders face, and the hatred that some people carry on a daily basis. We live in a world that teaches us to hate, that teaches us that for one reason or another if you don't conform to certain standards set by society, you dont deserve to be a part of it.

I was involved in organizing the city wide vigil this year and about a hundred people came to morn with us. They gathered to Ottawa's Women's monument, to share a moment of silence for the 14 womyn that died at École Polytechnique.

Police came in uniform. It always pleases me to see police officers coming to take part in a night like this. Particularly knowing the way the justice system treats issues of violence against women.

A group of native womyn held pictures of their missing or murdered loved ones as a choir sang a song of remembrance. There are over 500 missing and murdered aboriginal womyn in Canada today. Let us remember that this land once belonged to them, and was stolen from them.

We began to name the women that had died all over Ontario this year. As each name was read out loud, along with a small story about who they were, a rose was placed at the base of the Women's Monument to represent each of those lives lost.

A native woman started to spread something around base of the monument where the lanterns and flowers were placed. I just stood and silently wondered what she was doing.

 Soon after, I ran up to her and asked what it was she had scattered. She told me it was tabacco. Apparently tabacco is sacred plant to the Aboriginal tribes of Ontario. She told me that the roots of a tabacco plant run deep into the ground but the smoke, once burned can rises into the sky, making its way to the heavens, therefore connecting those on earth to people in the afterlife.

As the night came to an end, everyone made their way home, ready to end the night in a nice warm bed. I went to bed grateful to be alive, grateful to be fighting this battle for equality, grateful to have never faced such extreme violence in my life. Most of all, i was grateful to know there are people out there who love me, know me, treasure me. While my life is far from a perfect one, on Dec 6th every year i'll be thankful to be alive.

National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women

I'm going to write a longer post about this with more context to the meaning of this day but for the moment for all the Candians out there and even those who are not Canadian. Please light a candle or have a moment of silence to remember the 14 womyn that we massacred at École Polytechnique on December 6th 1989.

Genevieve Beregron, 21 years old

Helene Colgan, 23

Nathalie Croteau, 23

 Maryse Leclair, 23

 Annie St-Arneault,  23 

Anne-Marie Edward, 21

Michelle Richard  21

Annie Turcotte 21; 

Barbara Daigneault 22

Anne-Marie Lemay, 22;

 Maryse Laganiere, 25 

Sonia Pelletier, 28;

Maud Haviernick, 29; 

Barbara Maria Klucznik, 31.


May you all rest in peace. Know that we remember you every year on this day and your death was not in vain.